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The Power of “May I Ask You…?”

Thornburg Investment Management
24 Nov 2022
2 min read

By asking permission first to discuss personal topics, advisors can foster trust, enhance relationships, and give better financial advice.

Navigating life’s transitions can be challenging, and for financial advisors, it’s crucial to approach these conversations with sensitivity and empathy. Here’s how to transform your client interactions by simply asking, “May I ask you…?”

The Importance of Sensitive Conversations

As a financial advisor, you often need to delve into personal and emotional topics with your clients. Whether it’s a sudden loss, a life-changing event, or a significant financial shift, these conversations require a delicate touch. Recently, a financial advisor shared valuable advice: instead of diving straight into questions, ask for permission by saying, “May I ask you?” This approach shows respect and understanding, making the client feel more comfortable sharing personal details.

Hollis Walker, an interfaith minister and chaplain, has extensive experience talking with people who have lost loved ones, are facing terminal illnesses, or are in hospice care. She emphasizes the importance of seeking permission before asking personal questions. Here’s her advice:

  • Seek Permission: Begin by asking, “May I ask you about this?” or “Is it okay if I ask you about this?” This small gesture shows respect and sets a tone of empathy.
  • Listen Actively: Pay close attention to the client’s response. Sometimes, people may say they’re okay with the conversation but show signs of discomfort. Respect their boundaries and be prepared to back off if needed.
  • Offer a Safe Space: Let clients know you’re interested in their well-being and not just being nosy. Explain that understanding their situation will help you provide better financial advice.

Practical Tips for Financial Advisors

 

  • Start Easy: Begin the conversation with open-ended questions that allow the client to share their story. Avoid interrupting and let them talk through their experiences.
  • Be Reassuring: Show empathy and reassurance. For example, you can say, “Maybe you don’t know the answer to this yet, or why don’t you look through your documents when you get home to find that information and then give me a ring back.”
  • Allow Control: Ensure that the client feels in control of the conversation. Let them decide what and how much they want to share. End the conversation by thanking them for their openness.

The financial services industry has evolved significantly over the years. Today, advisors need to discuss real-life events, emotions, and personal challenges that affect clients’ lives and financial outlooks. This requires a different approach—one that focuses on understanding and empathy. By incorporating the “May I ask you?” approach into your practice, you can build stronger, more trusting relationships with your clients. This small gesture can significantly affect how clients perceive your support and professionalism.

Conclusion

Navigating difficult conversations with clients requires sensitivity and empathy. Asking for permission before delving into personal topics shows respect and understanding, making clients feel more comfortable sharing their stories. By following these practical tips, you can provide better financial advice and support your clients through life’s transitions.

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